Thursday, July 14, 2011

Episode 3: POV Ceremony

Well damn........anybody else as sick as I am at seeing Rachel's "I Love My Hubby" T-shirt??? Did she buy more than one or is this heffa not in the habit of WASHING clothes as often as one should??? I digress.....perhaps I should START the blog before ranting randomly..........

Hello folks, we got a better episode last night than what we were fed Sunday evening..... the TV only viewers finally got to see what I have sadly known since the show aired.......EVELDICK IS NO MORE............

Look, what can I tell ya?!?!? I have already signed up for 6 more weeks of therapy, I mean, this is just awful. To have that kinda carrot dangled in front of mama's face only to have it go POOF is just 2 kinds of wrong & cruel...... personally, I think this was a direct hit to yours truly. SOMEONE told the people over at CBS that EA is Satan's spawn and the cruelest joke you could play on me would be to have it APPEAR as though ED was back on the show and then BAM........bye bye Mr. Miagi.....

Yes I know, delusions of grandeur where I think CBS give a rat's ass about me & actually plotted an ED twist just to torment ME, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.....

Ok, now that I have that outta my system, onto the show shall we? I mean, was there really a NEED for a show after divulging that ED left??? Wasn't that in and of itself enough to fill an entire episode?? No?? Ok, carry on....

So, hmmmm, let's see.....oh yeah, POV, duh!

FOH (Porsche aka Full of Herself) decides to not use the 1 brain cell left & go crying to Rachel, Brandon & Dani that she doesn't get why she was nominated. Ok, follow the bouncing ball now blondie, focus........you were put there so that you could be SAFE for 4 weeks with the Golden Key you stupid silicone slut.....ah, there, that feels better....

I also don't get why both FOH & Dani are whining about having a Golden Key. Are you friggin serious here ladies????? "We don't get to compete" is their boo-hoo.....oh gimme a break!! You get to sit your pretty little asses on the sideline, do nothing and get no blood on your hands, AND you get a vote. Oh yeah, how you suffer.......... at least Dani came to her senses later in the episodes when she saw the advantages that the Golden Key could offer. I don't think FOH is ever gonna catch up cause in the last official school day for her they only got as far as "stay in the lines now hunny"...

Branchel won POV cause FOH & Keith threw the damn comp (will get to that in a second folks, I am still in disbelief that a nominee would throw away a chance to save themselves!) and because Jordan......well.....bless her heart.....

Now, is it me or are both FOH AND KEITH IDIOTS?!??!? When in the HELL of BB history have you ever seen 2 nominees so happy to STAY on the chopping block?!??! Did you see these 2 buffoons?!?!? They were THRILLED to be on the damn block!!! HELLO!!! Have either of you ever WATCHED the damn show?!??!?! When is it EVER a wise decision to accept the position of pawn on BB?? Ask Dustin, it worked miracles for him..... I think that weasel is still cryin' into his Frosted Flakes every morning.......

Keith losing his damn mind sure as hell didn't help. What was he thinking attacking Kalia like that? Now FOH was one thing, with her he knew for certain that she had flipped over to the alumnis, but where did he have proof that Kalia had done the same? All that did was cast a shadow of doubt on his own sanity amongst his group.... you're 2 for 2 Keith, keep up the great work!

I'm still not certain what Shelly's game plan is here but I do love this chick so far! I mean, even with my spoilers and knowing more than TV viewers only, it's still really unclear WHO she is really being loyal to.....her DR's don't match. Furthermore, it's difficult to know WHO is going home tonight, I really cannot tell as of this moment! These HG's are on FIRE this season, the only time they stop plottin' & schemin' is when they sleep! Trying to keep up with what's what and who's who is makin' my damn head spin!

At any rate, tonight's episode ought to be interesting just in the sense we will start getting a clearer idea of whose alliances are real and whose are fake, based on the votes for whom.

Now, I end this with a plea to all HG's......if any of you will PLEASE steal that damned T-shirt and burn it, mama will personally cook you your favorite meal when you get outta the house..........

Oh and Trish, this one is for you: A monkey only whistles when it's ass is being violated *wink*

Ciao Heffas,
EvelAlida (EA)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Episode 2: Nominations

*FOR YOU TV ONLY VIEWERS, STOP READING AT THE SPOILER SEGMENT*

Hello BB Fans, had yet another episode last night.....

What did I make of it? Blah, nothing all too thrilling if you ask me.....1 or 2 things got my attention at best and here is how I saw it.....

Now, The Alumni Group of 6 banded naturally, and started shooting out possibilities of who to put up.........Adam & Dominic or Keith & Porsche......this whole Golden Key twist has them thinking more along the lines of who will stay back versus who goes, which is in and of itself very smart thinking.....

Now, the LAST thing I wanna do is give Rachel & Brandon ANY credit for using what is left of their feeble minds, but last night for a refreshing change, they showed hints of intelligence in this game. Even EvelDick himself was impressed when Brendon mentioned they needed to get the newbies to start fighting amongst themselves & their partners.....someone ate their Wheaties that morning I dare say......

Cut to FOH (Full of Herself) Porsche......well well well......how quickly we saw treachery outta this heffa huh? HG's hadn't even so much as figured out the layout of the house before she was MORE than happy to get pulled in by EvelDick.....but then again, who in their right mind can resist this man's charms correct? LOL

Her confiding in Keith that she had alligned with Alumni was an enormous mistake in my opinion....she barely knows her partner, get it together woman......

The fun part was to watch the unveiling of the alliance "The Regulators" amongst Lawon, Dominic, Keith & Cassi......Dominic better simma down though, don't puff up with confidence in your plan there too quickly hun, this is week 1, have you been watching the show at ALL?!?!??! The second you think "I got this" so soon in the game is the second us viewers are saying "Bon Voyage Dumbass".............

Keith naturally ran back to his alliance and slit FOH's throat (Porsche, yes folks, I still nickname the HG's as I see fit and then refer to them as such moving forward, so pay attention!) by rattin' Barbie's ass out.......was anyone falling over in shock? Anyone? No? Ok......

So now due to her alleged alleagiance, what happens here folks? There ya go! Up goes Keith & Porsche!!!

I will say I found Shelly's DR, who is one of my current favorite HG's, very interesting with regards to how she planned on TRYING to teeter on both sides.....that has always failed miserably in most cases, but then again, I have seen it done successfully once or twice. If anyone could be smart enough to pull it off, it could be this woman, she's sharp as far as I can see.....

How's the house gonna go??? WHo they gonna evict??? This ought to be interesting!!

Ciao Heffas,
EvelAlida (EA)

*SPOILER SEGMENT*
Ok now but seriously, what the fuck?!??!?! NOTHING on ED's departure from the show last night? NOTHING? A legend has walked out those doors people! Oh I was heated..... and let me tell ya another thing, this whole baloney with Porsche telling people Keith is campaigning against her because he was atracted to her and she turned him down?!??! REALLY woman??? Any wonder why I have thus far nicknamed you FOH (Full of Herself)?!?!??! Relax killa, you may be cute but you're nothing to write home about.....Cassi makes you look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, so get your ass where it belongs, up that tower ringin' that bell bitch...........

Friday, July 8, 2011

Episode 1: House Reveal & HOH

*be forewarned that I write commentary based on feeds of each episode, therefore there is bound to be spoilers for the TV Only viewers. If you don't wanna know, stop reading once I have begun the Spoiler Segment*

Ok folks, so we finally get to see who we're working with this season. 8 fresh faces arrived, some uglier than others, but at least new. Then we get slammed with the twist that 3 Dynamic Duo Legends from the past are returning to the house to play the game............you KNOW where MY head went right away don't you? Moving forward........

The new HG's are told they need to pair up because they will be playing in pairs, that's twist numero uno people......they do NOT look pleased. Can't blame 'em cause they just met each other, how in the hell are you supposed to know who to pair up with based off of 10 minutes chatting around the livingroom?

The pairs are: Adam/Dominic, Cassi/Shelly, Kalia/Lawon, Keith/Porsche

Metalhead Adam - ok ok, well, he likes Beverly Hills 90210 so how bad can he be right?! Not quite sure if he's all there as of yet, but we will see....

Cassi - STUNNING woman and appears very calm & poised, may be a dark horse...

Keith - Ok now, did I hear right, he is some sort of Youth Pastor correct? But he chases ass like we women are falling off the face of the earth.....huh, must have skipped that Sunday School class as a kid..........

Kalia - she turned me off right at the intro when she called herself the "Real Life Carrie" from Sex & The City....ok easy killa, from where I'm sitting, you look like you ate Carrie, so hush up till we get to know you a little better.....

Dominic - again, had to check my hearing, his intro states he's 25, a virgin, and lives at home with mom......they're already buzzing he's "eye candy" for the show but I think he may have a brain in that pretty little head.....

Shelly - now HER I like! She really made the best impression on me so far of all the new HG's. She seems like a tough gal with a no-nonsense attitude but who can also do the "nice" when needed.....we'll see, look how many times I start off liking someone & then wind up wanting to cut them weeks later?!?!

Porsche - not feeling all that optimistic about little Miss "I'm always the prettiest one in the room", but again time will tell.....

Lawon - ok, now THIS cat I'm gonna be watching. He dresses like Dr. Seuss & behaves like Jack McFarland from Will & Grace...... that alone will be entertaining to watch!

1st Duo walks in, I wanna reach for a gun.....Branchel! Oh you have GOT to be kidding me?!??! I gotta listen to this twit's voice & laugh again??? And they're ENGAGED?!??! Is that not vomit inducing to anyone other than me?!?!?! How soon we forget his Skype Scandal and boo-hooing on the internet for forgiveness.....I'm crashing that wedding, will let you know what they had for appetizers.....

2nd Duo walks in, I can't help but giggle.....Jeff & Jordan are just plain fun to watch. As always, she's still knittin' with only one needle trying to figure out how to "subtract".....and as always, Jeff remains true to his initial nickname of Yum Yum.....ok not bad so far......

3rd Duo walks in and mama damn near falls off the couch..........EVELDICK IS FRIGGIN' BACK!!!! MY MENTOR! MY ROLE MODEL! MY MR. MIAGI! THE VERY REASON YOU ALL TAGGED ME WITH MY NICKNAME OF EA IS BACK IN THE HOUSE!!!!! People, my weak heart could barely stand it......I mean, how much is one mere mortal to take in one sitting?!?!??! To watch him literally STRUT into that house made me wanna go to church and thank God properly for this one!

HOH competition was pretty funny, especially listening to Dick rant "listen, I don't wanna stay in this position all that long, with my daughter's ass on my head!" Dani was a trooper though, I don't think she moved an inch.....Rachel won HOH cuttin' that deal and we get slammed with yet another twist.....whichever couple is nominated, who remains of the two will get a Golden Key that guarantees them the next 4 weeks of safety....not sure what I make of that one just yet, but we'll see what happens.....

It will be interesting to see if the alliance of the NEW vs. the OLD will stand up. Personally I don't think so, but what the hell do I know?!?!

Till Sunday, Ciao
EvelAlida EA

*SPOILER SEGMENT*

NO ONE CAN FIND EVELDICK! IT SEEMS HE HAS LEFT THE HOUSE AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE TO OR WHY?!??!? Oh no no no no no no....PLEASE let this be some planned twist! I JUST finished smiling that he was on this season and now to hear he's disappeared is heartbreaking.......

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Big Brother Premiere

Hello Hello, it's that time again folks :-)

I've gotten all your emails, and as I stated in a Note on FB, yes, I am back this year to give my commentary of our 13th season of our favorite show........

Many of you have asked if I was going to be at all "nicer" this year and not so rough with my thoughts.......Ummmm, nope, not so much...... EA hasn't gotten any nicer and therefore my writing style will more than likely not change an ounce..... if you want "nice", you are in the wrong place and should know better than to be at a blog called the Evel's Den written by EvelAlida, get a clue............

So with that said, I will do my best to entertain the masses again this year. If you like it, don't like it, I still don't really give a shit but hey, glad you stopped in......

See ya tomorrow when I install my segment on tonight's premiere.

Buckle up BB Fans, Season 13th hits us in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1................

Ciao Heffas,
EvelAlida (EA)